Why is my Life so Unfair?
Key reasons and Key to deal with them
Why my Life is so Unfair?
It looked Unfair because there is someone whose life looks fair and perfect to you.
Ironically, it’s what everyone feels at some point or another.
But how torn their books are, you fail to see when your chapter turns unfair.
Life looks like being unjust.
And you start looking down upon the book of your life.
What exactly makes you feel life is Unfair?
When you declare life Unfair, there is someone out there you are comparing your life to.
The obvious Comparisons.
We all are gauged with a mindset that sees the world around us more than we focus on ourselves.
As soon as we open our eyes, we become witness to the world around us.
We are impacted, we are influenced, and we begin to compare.
- When we see our lives not going as good as we see the lives of others around us.
- When we struggle and fail.
- When we walk the extra mile and still see the destination far-fetched.
We question ourselves: Why is my Life so Unfair?
But the question does not crop up from the condition your life is in but from how you are in that condition.
Read that again!
Yes, it’s not the bad phase that makes you stuck in life, it’s how inefficient you are in that phase that makes you fuss about being in it.
And Inefficiency comes from your ignorance.
The inability to handle the situation or to fail to take responsibility for your life.
You inflict yourself with a superficial picture of the world enjoying the fair ride.
The more you sit and see how better their life is, the more Unfair your life begins to look like.
What frustrates you, is, you have no one to complain about it or hold someone responsible for it.
This makes it even more suffocating.
Yes, it’s Unfair!
I don’t want to preach things when all you want is a fair share of life.
I don’t want to dismiss your pain of seeing life as Unfair.
If you feel that, it is.
The idea is not to replace the Word Unfair with Fair. But to help you navigate this part of your life when it isn’t working for you.
- You are not born evolved.
- You are not born Saint.
- You are not born wise.
- You are not born qualified in life.
You are just born a Human, one with a life.
And as a human, you are bound to be hijacked by life until you become aware and understand how life plays with you and how you should play with it.
” Why is my life so unfair?”
The question in itself hides all the answers.
There is something in your life that you are not comfortable with, and the discomfort is drowning you.
What’s sad is not that it’s Unfair, it’s that you do not know how to mend it.
And the worst is when you anticipate things to become fair all by themselves.
I say, cry it out loud to the Universe, to the divinity:
Why is my Life so Unfair?
You deserve an answer.
Get deeper into the question like learning a new game.
The mystery is the Unfair part is like those bad cards you get in the game.
⇒You cannot claim them Unfair.
⇒You cannot blame anyone.
⇒You cannot quit the game like a loser.
⇔But practice enough to play them better.
How valid is this feeling of your unfairness?
The big truth is life is never unfair if you go deeper into the Karmic cycles of your soul creation.
But if you see it at the body level, there will be many instances when you will feel trapped in this feeling of unfairness.
Not every time the feeling of unfairness comes from a place of awareness.
Two different mindsets that associate life with Unfairness.
1. One is when you observe the world around you, living a better life than you. The majestic picture that unfortunately you are not a part of, somehow makes you look down upon your life.
You assume they are given a special attention of the Universe and it is biased with you.
Your life might not be bad but just because it isn’t as beautiful as theirs, you declare it Unfair.
This type of unfairness crops from a dysfunctional mindset.
It is the unfairness in which you drown because of your own ignorance.
2. The other is when you do not compare your life with the others, but you are cast into a maelstrom and that make your life a doomed affair.
You strive to get yourself out of the muddled situation, but nothing works.
A point when your survival feels challenged.
At such points, Life looks Unfair.
Not because you want your life to be easy and beautiful like others but to not see yourself as the victim of life.
You command a better life in return for the rigorous efforts you invest in it.
This type of unfairness cultivates when your sanity feels challenged and your potential feels exhausted.
It is somehow very much a human thing to succumb in the face of Adversity and complain about life’s unfairness.
The root cause of Unfairness
No, I’m not going deep into your Karmic cycle to claim its responsibility for the unfairness that you feel.
Though it is to some extent.
Two prime reasons are responsible for creating this unwelcome feeling of unfairness.
- Comparison &
- To anticipate an easy life.
You are constantly exposed to the world around you.
The world that shows you different pictures of life.
You see them all, process them in your mind and then glue yourself to the ones that match your taste but are missing in your life.
And this is what is called a vicious circle of comparison.
Had you been seeing the world around you with an intent to pick up what’s the best that you can imbibe, you would land up levelling your Lifestyle and life as well.
⇒It is like Starting to build your house because you saw everyone around was building.
⇒You started to practice Spirituality because you saw how people around you were being benefited from it.
⇒You tapped into your maximum potential to grow and give a great lifestyle to your family because you saw people doing so.
But when the comparison only creates turbulence in your mind and does not push you to start painting the picture you saw hanging on their walls, you get trapped in this unwanted feeling of unfairness.
You anticipate life to be biased.
Rather than working on things you wish to have, you fuss about not having them.
You focus more on the absence than working for their presence.
Anticipate an Easy life
The default mindset is always to choose what’s fun, easy and gives you pleasure.
You are hardwired with the conditioning that a happy life is when God showers a good life, a good family, good friends, good health, and everything that your senses feel overjoyed with.
And when life turns upside down, when nothing goes in your favor, when your path is hindered and you are hijacked with trials, that’s when your entire belief system is shackled.
You declare life to be Unfair.
You were fed with just one side and shade of life, the beautiful side.
The one that demands nothing from you.
But no one guided you to the other side.
Reality is, Life is a Change.
When the change favors you, you declare life fair.
And when you fail to live the change, Life looks Unfair.
But to live life is to live by accepting it in its entirety.
The unfairness is not planted for you, it’s rooted in your ignorance and unawareness about life’s pattern.
You fail to See the Big Picture
What you see is the current picture of Life.
The Unfair, the bad, the tough.
Just like a movie’s middle part where the Hero is imprisoned, the villain is enjoying.
Just because you do not know how the movie will end, you cannot anticipate anything Unfair.
So is life.
You fail to see the big Picture.
And you declare things Unfair for that tiny bit of life that you are in.
The mystery of the Universe not disclosing to you what it has for you in the big picture is for you to feel the epiphany of your life.
When you do not know how things will turn, the fear of being trapped in the unfair chapter is huge.
And it’s the fear that builds you and builds the right things for yourself.
Key to deal with the unfairness of life
1. Dig deeper to find what is the nature of your unfairness.
Unless you know whether the unfairness is out of some ignorance or has life been testing all your patience, you cannot work on it.
The feeling of unfairness has a cascading effect on life if you brood over it.
Once you figure out whether the unfairness is legit or not, you get better clarity to take charge of it.
2. Accept your unfairness and hold yourself responsible to deal with it.
No matter what the reason is, the principle is to accept the unfairness.
Because what you declare Unfair is something that you see on the surface. But the reality is, Life has all the math for why it is showing up in a way that looks Unfair to you.
If the feeling of unfairness crops in your mind, the responsibility to make it look fair lies on your shoulders.
3. Monitor and mentor your thoughts that drown you in this unfairness trap.
You are the guide.
You are the mentor.
Only when you decide to contemplate and find what you can do about this unfairness, you save yourself from being trapped in it.
There is a positive side to this feeling of unfairness.
When life looks Unfair, your inner warrior to fight it back and give yourself the deserving fairness, wakes up.
When it looks Unfair, it gets uncomfortable.
And when it’s uncomfortable, you feel the pressure to get over it.
And the pressure is the building block that helps you explore your potential.
When life blocks you, you feel the force to find out ways to unlock it.
And while you do that, you are introduced to your real power.
4. The feeling of unfairness is not bad, but doing nothing for this unfairness is dangerous.
Life is intentional when it gives you a feeling of Unfairness. It hinders your path but does not aim to block it.
Unfairness is a blessing in disguise.
The intention is to unlock and uplevel your potential.
It is like spoiling your plan one so that you are directed to work for the bigger plan.
But if you continue moaning over plan one, brooding over it, and waiting for life to serve you better, you are spoiling the bigger plan of life.
5. You cannot change what happens to you, but you can change the response.
Life is a Change.
And not all changes will look favorable.
When you choose to give back to life when it’s giving you nothing that you wanted, it confirms you honestly deserve to be rewarded.
6. Focus on which section of your life is fair and draw energy from it to work on the unfairness.
The unfairness is not peeping at you from every window of the house. There are some doors and windows which are showing you the fair side as well.
No matter how Unfair life looks, not all of it ever is.
What draws your attention more is what is missing than what you have.
And when you focus only on the missing elements, you are somehow deliberately losing the ones you have.
This crippling mindset can make life go for a toss.
7. Build systems to dismantle the unfairness and move forward.
When life spoils your dish, make another one.
Looking at the spoiled dish for long and lamenting over the loss will only impede the preparation of a new one.
You cannot control Life’s actions, but you have the authority to take charge of your reaction.
The secret is, Life can spoil a lot of your stuff, but it can never stop you from preparing better stuff.
Don’t let life’s unfairness spoil your relationship with its fairness.
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Hi! This is Sarita Mian.
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