How life changes after relationship?


A change may be better or it might be worse. It will all depend how much two people getting into a relationship rely upon each other for their individual happiness. The more they depend on anything or anyone outside for their happiness,  the harder it is to feel the joy of a relationship. 

The inability to resource  joy by yourself is one major thing that contributes to a relationship that will never be satisfying.

Relationships are not about always getting happiness and love but rather living life together in all its ebbs and flows. 

Getting into a relationship appears to be dreamy but trust me it’s no less than one of the toughest deals that demands a certain degree of learning, understanding and balancing the whole chemistry of the duo.

Well the whole thing is so diverse and variable as the experiences are unbelievably countless that it would be hard for me to generalise them.  But still I’ll try making you connect with those common changes that probably all relationships go through.

Getting into a relationship is one thing in this universe that’s indecisive and without a rational. Well the point is, if you are into it, no matter if you are ready or not  (yeah some might be oveready too😋, I can understand the crave), you really got to play the cards well.

 Even if you got to choose the cards wisely, the playing will still be challenging!

I would put it like this, “the game takes over no matter what cards you chose”.

There are two sides to perceiving a relationship, the give side and the take side. The whole relationship counts on the balancing of these two sides and wherever the balance topples, the relationship too.

Thinking and analyzing over this entire thing of being in a relationship, I found many patterns to it that unfolded in more different ways. Well let’s dive into the nitty gritty of how life changes after a relationship.

I have come up with 7 major changes that I felt are felt enormously. I will  not only talk of changes but what good and bad follows them and how they really need an eagle’s eye to speculate effectively. 

Well I’ll limit the entire post only to the relationships that are to be worked out for a lifetime. 

1. Pioneering steps are easiest:

The point when you are slowly stepping into a territory that’s owned no more by only you but two of you,  gives you a sense of shelter, support, an effortless joy of ruling it with great spirits. You feel you were deprived of some sort of bliss that this companionship bestowed you with. You are marveled by the soothing emotion that just poured on you. But still, it’s such a kind that no matter how much it’s being poured, you will never be shutting up your door to not take more of it. 

The love endorphins just droop  on you in the pioneering phase and the earth beneath you goes weak with its magnetic field.

Your rationality takes a back seat and you just ride into this new territory of Love having no clue of how the whole ride will be. You presume the way it was always imagined in your top cabinet will be the same in real too.

2. Gradual understanding of your partner:

The relationship makes you feel like swinging in a baby’s cradle. The joy of this cradle is so huge and overwhelming that you make an effort out of choice to understand what and how you will  make your person feel fortunate and blessed in your companionship. 

You take those little steps completely out of an independent choice to stretch out a little from your comfort zone to make things more comfortable for your person.

 The surprising thing is, you do not credit yourself for your efforts.

You dive down from that superficial knowing to a soulful acquaintance. You start discovering your person, the black and white side both. Love makes you so spellbound, that you start embracing your person as a whole. The white takes over how much ever the black side is. The whole journey of completely taking a firm grip over your relationship is amazing, yet with its own ebbs and flows.

 Once you find the assurance of ownership in your relationship, your spirit to make it more beautiful no longer waver. 

3. Discovering the challenges in your relationship:

Once you come a level deeper into the relationship,  you’ll start discovering the pain areas too. There will be times when either of you will go weak for your partner. Weak in the sense that in some way you might start depending on your partner for your bunch of happiness and this whole thing of dependency actually makes you one step distant from your own ability to find happiness within. You start heading towards a relationship that might disable your own authority of happiness. Once your mind starts embracing the joy  you feel when your partner works for it, your inherent ability to be happy independently starts losing bit by bit.

My point is not about not being happy when your partner puts an effort into it, it’s about not relying on your partner for every little reason of joy. You’ve got to feel great when your relationship makes you a happier soul but then also to not feel miserable when it’s not able to. Noone can make us all time “Happy us”

Something outside of you, be it anyone on  this planet can never be qualified for always making you smile. You’ve got to master yourself for it.

Another side of the challenges is when the hard times come and  relationships take a back seat. The times when family issues,  ailments,crisis, career failures crop up to a level that relationships are ought to suffer if not envisioned with a rational approach. These are the times when you got to take them like an opportunity and show your unique ability to  silently stand strong in the relationship and make your rock solid presence an emerging strong hope for your partner to overcome all the hurdles. 

Well I would quote Relationship as,

Not only loving each other but rather loving and facing life together”

4. Trying to qualify for the relationship :

If it can comfort you, it can be painful too. You’ve got to understand that you need to work for it and then take its benefits. Hoping for a relationship where someone will entertain you is almost fooling yourself for life!

Happiest relationships have had incredible histories of sacrifices that make them a qualified one.

You will not be qualified first and then plan to get into a relationship. It’s something that qualifies you all through its journey. 

 The more you invest in the relationship as a whole than just on your partner, the more firmer grip you’ll feel over your relationship. 

5. Enhancing the ability to Deal with the criticalities:

Relationships die if you doubt the ability of your sailor  when the Tempest hits in. 

Yes the waves will come, the storms will thunder and your boat will swing, but they do normalize. You need to be confident of your sailor and keep sailing in the boat till storms calm down, and they do.

Relationship by itself is nothing if you as a responsible partner does not invest honestly in it.

I somewhere read something really beautiful, 

Most people get into a relationship believing a myth that it is a beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for. The truth is that a relationship at the start is an empty box. You must put something in before you can take anything out. There is no love in a relationship, love is in people. And people put love in relationships. You have to infuse it into your relationship. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty”

6. Beyond the level of love, a massive support :

After a certain age of your relationship, it will not merely be love that will contribute to the quality and longevity of your relationship, it’s the massive support that will make it robust and profound. 

Your love is something that roots your relationship but your support is something that makes the relationship grow. 

When you become a support system for your partner, you are leading in Love. And this makes your relationship blossom!

7. Growing and evolving together :

When you have unfolded all the flaws and qualities of your partner,  you step into a new phase of cohesiveness that makes you happy when things are going great and wise enough to protect your bond when situations go upside down.

Once you have embraced your partner as a complete free individual, real sense of freedom flows in into your  relationship 

(Obviously little and much needed changes are always healthy and essential, as we grow only when we change for good reasons).  

 Two individuals, by Power of Universe, meet to no more be strangers and further find a common nest. 

All have feathers, but it’s those  who decide to keep flying free and returning back to the same nest makes  a happier Living!

Hi! This is Sarita Mian.

Welcome to The Locks and Keys where “Little will be valued and Huge shall be contained”



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3 years ago

Such a complex topic beautiful decoded & summarised in 7 phases.Marvellous piece of writing which everyone could correlate.

3 years ago

The most relatable content I have come across in a long while…thanx a lot for this beautiful insight!!

3 years ago

You couldn’t have summed it up better Sarita….it takes a lot to put ur thoughts on piece of paper in a right way…You have just explained every aspect of a relationship in these 7 parts…just awesome

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