Feeling Empty and Lost? 5 pieces of Advice to root out the Cause

An emptiness so vast I can’t tell. If I’m in it or it in me ~Richard Jackson

A strange feeling that you do not feel yourself anymore.

You feel like ripping apart your skin and searching for a reason why you feel this emptiness. It feels like something inside is missing or broken.

But like the Moon, we must all go through phases of emptiness to feel full again.

The Underestimated first line of Defense

I will repeat what you have been reading and hearing from everyone else…

You are not alone!

I know that sounds common and it feels it will help you in no way.

That’s because it does not in any way make your emptiness any less.

Your logic says that just because everyone around is sad cannot make your sadness less.

And that is quite rational to think.

But this does not claim it as an understatement that holds no weight.

It is rather you who haven’t uncovered and touched it in deeper layers to feel what magic it can create to navigate the emptiness you are filled with.

So, I want to dig deeper into this most common advice that will form your first line of defense against your feeling of emptiness and being lost.

I want you to understand how big a difference this statement “You are not alone” can make when you are going through something that makes you alone, empty and lost.

OK IMAGINE…

For a moment imagine all the folks in your city are walking on one leg or rather they have only one leg.

You are by default habituated to witnessing something that is uncommon for others on the planet.

But for you, having one leg looks like no curse, no deformity, no ailment, no difficulty, no disability.

Just because each one around you are same.

Despite being deprived of the privilege of walking with two limbs, you feel no less.

 As everyone around you has adapted to walking with a single leg, you too walk with one leg without any feeling of misfortune.

What is making you fine even when you have a major missing element in your body?

The answer is….

You are not Alone!

Everyone around you is with a similar problem and you can see, relate, feel and associate with it, which stops you from thinking of it as unusual.

You have no idea how a second limb could make your life better and easy and so you are not trapped in any sort of feeling of misfortune.

Now, let’s change the situation.

Now assume it is only you out of everyone who has one leg.

You see the world on two legs with your naked eyes and feel the massive difference. And this makes you feel like the odd one out, someone having less, someone who is deprived.

The answer is…

You are Alone!

I hope that makes sense now.

Ok, there is a Twist

Now when it is about a situation that everyone goes through, but you cannot physically see it through your eyes, you fail to associate with it.

Emptiness and feeling lost is one such.

Someone feeling empty and lost is a problem that you cannot see on the surface and that makes the problem non-existential for you.

So, when this emptiness attacks you, you assume you are alone.

But the reality is, you are unable to see the emptiness that others are going through as well.

Life is comparative. The more we see people going through a similar pattern of problems, the easier it becomes for us to keep moving in the pattern.

Yes, we all are in the same loop, going through similar problems.

This feeling emptiness and being lost is not something that has hit you and not anyone else.

So, you first need to normalize the feeling of this emptiness and then head to find a solution about what you can do about it.

Why do you feel empty and lost?

No matter how popular, attractive or successful you become, it does not stop you from being caged in emptiness.

Emptiness is a feeling of numbness or lack of fulfilment, even when one has everything one ever wanted.

It can be caused by a sense of purposelessness or lack of direction in life, feelings of disconnection from others, or a general feeling of dissatisfaction with one’s circumstances.

Besides this, it is something that hits in deeper layers which makes life uneasy. You stand clueless to understand why you feel this emptiness deep inside and you fail to navigate this feeling.

You are neither in depression nor have you fallen for any disease but still there is something that creates anxiety and stress.

Even while in the crowd, you feel like you are stranded on a deserted island.

Sometimes you have reasons for this emptiness and sometimes you feel it for no reason.

Feeling lost on the other hand, is often characterized by a sense of confusion, disorientation, and uncertainty about one’s path in life.

Both emptiness and feeling lost can be distressing and can lead to negative emotions such as anxiety, depression, and loneliness.

Let’s dive a little deeper to find out what goes wrong when emptiness haunts you and you get lost in it.

There are not always big visible reasons for this emptiness but deep unknown ones that you fail to reach out to them.

Some of the reasons that make you feel empty and lost are:

You don’t know who you are

A lack of insight into yourself might be responsible for the feelings of emptiness you are experiencing.

When you lose touch with who you are, what you want and who you want to be, it can cause you to feel as if you are aimlessly coasting through life with no purpose.

You might be achieving great accomplishments but none of them makes you feel fulfilled.

 You stand amidst people but still feel lonely.

There is a missing element in your life  

There might be something that you would have been wanting to have but not lived yet.

On the surface, things would look all happy and fine, but the undercurrents would be gloomy.

Despite having things that you are fortunate for; your mind would be clung to the things that are missing in your life.

The power of the emptiness that one missing element creates weighs far more than the joy that all the other beautiful things bring you.

Any relationship that is closest but not working fine

We may claim happiness to associate with success, luxury, and dreams, but the truth is, it lies in relationships.

The more you forge a bond with your loved ones, the more beautiful your life is. Relationships hold the power to make the journey of life fulfilling.

But when these bonds dwell some sort of bitterness, all the other things fail to keep up the charm in life.

If one of your closest relationships becomes fraught, it makes you lost and empty. You might have everything else going great but going through a rough patch in any relationship would topple your life.

You haven’t made peace with your past

A hideous past can keep you caged in its bad memories for eons no matter how much you have moved in your life. You might be a happy face with the new people around, but you still are the heavy soul inside. Your mind fails to move at the same pace your life is moving. It looks like your life has been fast-forwarded but you are still holding onto the past.

Follow these 5 pieces of advice to root out the cause and fill the void

Being Sad is different. It is fleeting. It comes and then leaves. But emptiness is deeper, it is about the soul.

You can make a sad person happy with little joyful things but helping someone to come out of emptiness needs rehabilitation.

Emptiness is seated so much inside the soul that the remediation requires working on many deeper layers.

If you are someone going through a prolonged emptiness that appears to have made a home in you, the 5 pieces of advice that I have to share with you will help you not only fill the void but plant something fulfilling in it.

1. Don’t try to get rid of it, let it go deeper

Don’t try to get away with the feeling of emptiness without finding out why it was hitting you so deeply.

You might get rid of it for a moment, but you will not be able to root it out forever.

Let it boggle you, let it come as close to you as it can, let it touch you in the deepest layers, let it find its way to a point where you can feel the undercurrents.

Try connecting with what this emptiness wants, and why this emptiness is hovering over you.

Do not repel it but embrace it rather and see the pattern that it is trying to build for you to figure out.

2. Do not try to be strong when your vulnerability is on high

I understand you repel your weak version; I know you do not like yourself caged in something that reveals your vulnerability, and I know you dislike when your mind fails to help you to collect the pieces you are broken into.

But I know that you are not the strong one at the moment and that is what you need to acknowledge, accept and work upon.

The problem with most of us who go through this emptiness is that we do not try to fill it but instead we paint it with something that we do not have at the moment.

 3. Reflect on the source of the emptiness

There is this abnormal unknown feeling that has started to bother you. You feel overwhelmed when you fail to understand why your peace has been attacked and why you feel so lost.

The problem is not this emptiness, but the source that is creating it.

And the problem escalates when you try to mend the emptiness without mending its root.

When life casts you in a situation where you feel lost and empty despite life looking normal on the surface, you lose the charm to live it.

There are sometimes big enough reasons that drift you towards emptiness and sometimes the reasons are unknown.

If things harass you, they will continue to harass you if you sit with them.

Start digging into your emptiness. Do not expect the solution on the surface, the water is found in deeper layers of the Earth.

Take some time to reflect on the root cause of your feelings of emptiness.

Consider whether there are any particular life circumstances, relationships, or personal values that may be contributing to these feelings or is there something missing in your life.

Remember that finding the reason for your emptiness may take time and self-exploration, but identifying the underlying causes is an important step in the process of overcoming it.

 Try to list down all the things that impact you, starting from the environment to family, friends, career, relationships, passion, purpose, habits, health and all that comes to your mind.

Try to fill the following table to assess and improve your state of emptiness.

Assess yourself on all the above factors with complete honesty and figure out what are the factors that you are not satisfied with.

The emptiness that you feel will be because of one of the above factors. Without digging into all the components of your life, you cannot find what is causing your emptiness.

Identify the factors that do not make you feel good about.

This exercise will help you figure out where the problem is dwelling. Once you find the real source of the trouble, you just need to focus on it and strategically plan a remediation for it rather than lamenting over it.

4 Do not cover it with something but plant something in it.

Hiding emptiness with something does not remove it in the first place.

Just like hiding your broken tooth with your mouth does not heal the pain it caused. You have to treat it so that you no longer have to hide it.  

Just like hiding your emptiness by playing a game does not erase it.

You have to find a way to heal it so that you no longer have to disguise it.

Find the reason for your emptiness, explore it and figure out how can it be resolved and made better.

Once you find a solution to mend it, start planting something in it so that it builds into something great. It was empty because something was missing and the moment you start filling it, it becomes complete and joyful.  

 5. There is an opportunity hidden in this emptiness

When you feel trapped in emptiness, there is a potential to create something new.

Only when something brings you discomfort, you are pushed to create a space of comfort.

This feeling of emptiness and being lost is uncomfortable and when you feel trapped in it, it triggers you to do something that can help you get out of this uncomfortable place.

But it requires a shift in perspective and a willingness to see things differently.

The emptiness can drown you if you allow it to penetrate deeper but if you pause and think over this feeling of emptiness, you will come up with several things that you can cultivate to fill it.

Emptiness often signals the end of something, whether it’s a relationship, a job, or a phase of life. Instead of clinging to the past, be open to change and embrace the opportunities that come with it.

Remember that finding opportunities in emptiness requires a positive and open mindset. With time, patience, and persistence, you can transform emptiness into a springboard for growth and success.