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Evolve and Elevate

Evolve and Elevate: Breadth and depth of experience, when someone makes his friend his Guru, How I changed the dynamics with my father?

Evolve and Elevate: Breadth and depth of experience, when someone makes his friend his Guru, How I changed the dynamics with my father?

Idea of the Week

Breadth and depth of experience

“Yes, breadth of experience is likely necessary and desirable when you’re young—after all, you have to go out there and discover what seems worth investing yourself in.  

But depth is where the gold is buried.  And you have to stay committed to something and go deep to dig it up.  That’s true in relationships, in a career, in building a great lifestyle—in everything.”

Mark Mason

 

Lesson of the Week

When someone makes his friend his Guru

Bhagavad Gita says:

Who has the authority to read Bhagavad Gita?

Two close friends: Rishikesh (Lord Krishna) and Gudakesh (Arjuna) were having a conversation.

In the name of friendship both had equal position but, in this friendship, one of the friends wishfully and voluntarily chose to be the student of another.

Lord Krishna was laughing because now His friend Arjuna had become His student.

In spite being the Lord of all and having the highest position, Lord Krishna chooses to be a friend, son or a lover for His Bhakta (devotee).

But when He was accepted as a Guru by his friend, He suddenly started to have serious conversations to deliver His role as a GURU.

And each one standing on the battlefield of Mahabharat could see and hear this conversation between Guru and the student and were swayed away by it.

Bhagavad Gita is not narrated for one person, society or one caste but it is for all and to hear it, both friend and foe equally hold the rights.

The moment Krishna took the role of a GURU, he called out His student as foolish.

He said, you talk like a saint, but you do not know that the one who is a saint i.e. the one who knows what this soul and body is, he never laments for body under any situation no matter it is living or dead.

Knowledge means to understand the padarth (material), Atma (soul) and the niyamak (regulator) of both.

 

Inspiration of the Week: 

How I changed the dynamics with my father?

My mom says, “Tum Dono ek Jaise ho” (You both are alike).

Who both?

Me and my Father!

So, you might be thinking that we get along with each other well.

Ironically, we both are big-time fighters.

I respect him for countless admirable things but then as a daughter Iam his first person to fight with.

He is triggered by my ways, and I get offended by his actions.

We just need a little spark, and the fire is all over the place.

For the longest time, I thought my father was always wrong, and I kept justifying my triggers.

I advocated myself and became my judge, always favoring my standpoint.

It felt like we both lurked around each other in ambush.

As if our canines were big-time gluttons for biting each other.

This is one-half of the picture. The other half has a loving daughter and a very affectionate father.

As they say, a family does not have to be perfect but united.

No, we did not hate each other.

Our love was also never less.

But our energies never aligned. We always had friction over petty issues.

Every right thing I said was often dismissed by him and I wouldn’t agree to what he claimed as right.

Often there would crop up a sudden ruckus between us for as small reason as one could think of.

This became a quotidian struggle.

When things started to bottle up inside, I started to monitor my patterns. I questioned myself even if he was wrong, why always the fights happened just between me and him?

Why no one other than me muddled with him as badly as me?

Where was I doing things wrong?

What did I need to change?

I constantly thought over the matter and desperately wanted to change and make the dynamics with my father smoother, calmer and peaceful even if it meant losing my standpoint.

 I started to realize: Only if I lose in the argument with him, I will win over him.

Because our reasons for conflict were never big enough where we had to compromise with our ethics.

I decided I’d minimize talking to him to avoid the useless chitchat.

I decided I would not react to anything that triggered me but instead chose to leave the room right away.

My mind was constantly in the planning mode to control my emotions the best way.

I wanted to win over myself. I wanted to lose the arguments and win my father.

It was hard, it was challenging and honestly a cumbersome deal.

But I wanted to get it done.

I made attempts and God helped me in sustaining and empowering them every time I felt triggered.

I kept telling myself, “The more you react to the triggers, The slower you’ll grow in life”.

The most powerful element of the story happened when I was recently introduced to Maharaj Ji (Neem Karoli Baba) and visited Him all alone for the first time in Kainchidham, I was a completely different person when I returned.

I cannot put it into words, but something really powerful happened that made me so much stable inside, that the triggers started to fail to hit their target (Me).

(Well, it’s a whole different story and divine experience, rather a journey that I shall share soon with you.)

My burning soul was miraculously at peace, and I felt surreal joy in nothingness.

I learned when you want to change, like desperately change for the better, the Universe conspires everything in your favor to bring the change.

God will not help you until He sees you helping yourself.

You have to take the initiative and then you’ll find He was always standing by your side to hold your hand and not let you stop.

Show Him enough grit before He can show you, His greatness.

I am grateful for the voice that echoed inside me and nudged me to change and thankful to the Divine Lord to keep me going.

When I changed my attitude and took charge of my emotions, I found something unbelievable happening. My father changed drastically.

His energy was replaced. He became politer and softer towards me.

It was a win-win.

I was thrilled with joy. I had not only gotten control over my explosive emotions but received an overwhelming response from my father.

To be honest, now when I sit down to think,

It feels like I was only the culprit, I was the one who needed to change. I was the one reason behind all those tumultuous situations.

When I showed a different side, my father changed all his sides to become as good as he could towards me.

Disclaimer:

My family situation is not normal; we have a catastrophic situation prevailing for years that makes every possibility for break out and frustration at times. 

♦Soul to Soul♦

Happy Reading!

If you wish to read previous Newsletters, head to the link:

Evolve and Elevate Archives » thelocksandkeys

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