Are you Happy?

Are you Happy?


Human emotions are diverse, but our favorite is Happiness.

Out of all the emotions, the Hero of our life is Happiness.

 We want every scene of life to have happiness in it.

No matter what your goal is, or what your dreams are, the end goal of every goal is Happiness.

You want to feel good in the end.

Whether you are in a relationship or you are working somewhere, the only element that keeps you going is happiness. When happiness feels blocked, no matter how close the relationship is and how important the work is, you feel depleted.

Your indulgence in anything is directly proportional to the amount of happiness you receive being in it.

The moment someone asks, “Are you happy?”, your mind starts racing with a myriad of thoughts.

It can be a prompt no or it can be a yes after a long pause.

And you begin to calculate.

You give a quick peek into your life to find out whether you have more fuller chapters or more empty ones.

You start measuring your life, checking out what portion of life is going great and how much is the muddled part.

So somehow, your happiness quotient is a reflection of how good or bad, easy or tough your life is.


How do we perceive a happy life?

Happiness consists of three components:

  1. Life satisfaction
  2. The presence of a positive mood
  3. The absence of a negative mood

Life’s goal is to experience the maximum amount of pleasure and the minimum amount of pain.

The absence of pain, problems and displeasure is happiness to us.

Our Happiness is conditional.

If so and so happens, I’ll be happy. If so and so does not happen, I will fail to be happy.

Our happiness is associated with an object, with a situation. We run our lives with this idea that only if we receive something on the outside, our inside will feel good.

We are saying that someone else is the owner of our happiness and we are always at the mercy of this owner to receive happiness.

We have tied our happiness to something that is always going to change. And every time it will change, we will see our happiness falter.

We fail to be happy not because our life is not going as per our terms but because we haven’t come to terms with the fact that happiness is not on the outside.

You feel relaxed when there is a sense of distance from your problems.



What Happiness genuinely is?

One wrong way to search for happiness, and that is when one does so at the expense of enjoying life right now.

When you rent your happiness, you can never afford to be its owner.

Happiness is an inside job.

We cannot assign it to anyone or anything on the outside.

What happens on the outside should not control how you want things on the inside.

This does not mean to sit and laugh when you have a big reason to cry, it means even if your situations are not in your Favor, even if your conditions are adverse, you can choose to respond differently.

 You can express grief but even in that expression, your happiness can be intact.

This means a bad chapter does not remove happiness. You just stop looking at it.

It’s okay to feel sad, it’s okay to pause happiness when life gives you a hard ride, but what’s not ok is when you lock it, when you dump it, when you fail to look back at it.

Happiness in its truest form is independent of material joy or loss. It does not come or go with anything on the outside. It only gets overshadowed when you are affected by the bad elements of life.

Life will keep changing its chapters. You cannot stop reading the book just because some of these chapters didn’t feel good.

Happiness is not an emotion you should be depending on these changing chapters but the feeling of knowing that you have the book you love no matter what ebbs and flows the reading takes you through.



Sadness is not the absence of Happiness.

When bad days arrive, the good days do not leave, your attention gets on the bad ones.

Just like there isn’t any darkness, you only get short of light, similarly, happiness never leaves you, but sadness takes more space inside you.

It isn’t about what is more in your life or what is becoming less, it is about what draws your attention more.

Only If you choose to look at the positive things, the negative things will fail to choose you.

You cannot decide how things should be in your life, but you have the authority to choose how you will be with things happening to you.



Happiness is not in the results; it is in the ability to solve them.

The goals you aim for should not be your deciding factor for happiness. 

It is not in the results but in the growth that you make while striving for them.

Happiness is not in the result as much as it is in perfecting the process.

You made the tea great is not as much a joy as knowing how to make a great tea.

Achieving something is momentary and becoming able to achieve things becomes a forte that you carry with you.

So, it boils down to not associating your happiness with things that you cannot carry with you but with the abilities and skills you build that last forever.



I waited for things to happen to be happy.

I’ll get a job, I’ll find a boy, I’ll date, I’ll marry, and I’ll have a beautiful life.

The script was ready.

I was ready.

I thought it was my life and I knew how it would go.

But the script kept me waiting.

Life wasn’t ready.

Sometimes the incident isn’t about something that happens to us, but something that never happens or takes a long time to happen.

Waiting for the script to turn real, became the incident of my life.

And my happiness depended on my script.

I went through stages.

My script will run, and I will become happy, until then I’ll wait.

My script will run, and I will love life more, until then I’ll wait.

My script will run, and I will do all the things I ever wanted to, until then I’ll wait.

And while I waited for the script, my real life passed by.

I kept waiting for the script and missed a lot of real stuff.

My soul was in captivity and my life was running out.

I wanted to wake up and no more sleep, and no longer miss the mornings.

I feared losing myself while waiting for something that I never had.

My attachment to the script that didn’t turn up for so long was murdering my joy for the life that was showing up every single day.

The truth is “The script taking time was giving me time to change”.

To change the way, I looked at life.

It was a revelation: 

The dream can live inside you, but you should not be living inside the dream world.

Happiness was not on the other side of my script but an ingredient that I needed all the way through.



4 Strong advices to build Happiness


1. Be happy not because everything is good but because you can see the good side of everything.

Life is always in your favor, but the favor does not always come with an easy path.

Just like a parent dismissing their child to get that chocolate or a burger aren’t doing something bad to their child. The disapproval is because the parents are aware of what is good for the child.

The child does not know what and how much junk is healthy.

So, everything that looks like that chocolate or a burger to you, that you did not get right away, has an undercurrent, it has a favour for you.

You don’t get something at the moment only to protect you from anything that isn’t in your favour.


2. Hitting your upper limit

You don’t want happiness as much as you want a familiar comfortable space.

And anything that is outside of that realm of comfort feels threatening or scary until you are familiar with it.

Happiness is not in the comfort zone; it is on the other side of change; it is called hitting your upper limit.

Hitting your upper limit is a great sign that you are heading towards happiness.

It means you are approaching and surpassing new levels of your life, allowing change and that is the first and foremost thing to congratulate yourself for.

And hitting the upper limit where you surpass the uncomfortable change, is when you allow happiness to enter.

Reaching the upper limit isn’t easy.

It is possible only by slowly acclimating yourself to your new normal.

Instead of going for big changes, allow yourself to slowly adjust and adapt.

By taking it slow, you are allowing yourself to gradually reinstate a new comfort zone around what you want your life to be. Over time you shift your baseline to a new standard.


3. Happiness is a choice, not a result.

If your happiness lies in things that you have no control over, you will always be at the mercy of an outside situation.

Only if you choose happiness as your inside job that does not falter by anything on the outside, you become the landlord of your happiness.

When you focus on the mindset and attitude than on the results, the results fail to affect you.

Life is a change and if you are in rhythm with this change, you become in rhythm with happiness.


4. Happiness isn’t just found, it is cultivated.

It isn’t what good life gives you, it is what you create from whatever life gives you.

In the face of every bad thing, there is a chance to create great things.

Life does not hand over to you the bestseller book, it gives you words, paragraphs and pages of experiences that you can thread into a story.

Not all the words, paragraphs and pages are in your favor, but when you begin to create a story with them, the book becomes a bestseller.

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance. The wise grows it under his feet.” — James Oppenheim

You don’t have to disconnect from things, from results that give you happiness, but you have to practice detachment so that their presence or absence does not affect your inner realm.

“Happiness is not a possession to be prized, it is a quality of thought, a state of mind.” — Daphne du Maurier


If you loved reading and connected with my words, I would love to invite you to my weekly Newsletter “Evolve and Elevate” where I share lessons from Bhagavad Gita, my inspiring thoughts and an idea worth reading.


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Hi! This is Sarita Mian.

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